Lost My Way - NARSthoughts

 Learning under this kind of setting feels dull and empty. I still cannot accept the fact that we have to learn this way. Comparing to the past ideal setting or what we call the normal face to face classes, these so-called online classes have locked away all the opportunities to build up our skills and weaknesses. All the social gatherings, the simple everyday conversation with friends, the fun and the waves of motivation to learn upon seeing your classmates working hard, jokes with professors, what else? We missed, and will be missing all the opportunity to experience more laboratory activities, community health services, and many more— or worse, we may be missing the capping ceremony and may never experience graduation on a stage.

I remember how excited I was when I thought about facing college— meeting new people, being in a new environment where I can hone a better version of myself, and getting to know nursing in an oceanic level. But with all the unfortunate events, everything seems hopeless. I always ponder, what if the pandemic never happened? Would I have been able to reach the ideal version of myself that I have aimed to be? Would we have been able to grow more competence in ourselves as student nurses? Would we have been more spirited about learning? Would I? Would we?

With this ongoing pandemic and all the unwanted happenings at school, I have become less motivated. I have already settled for the bare minimum to pass. I have lost the passion to learn, and now, I am trying to find it because I am aware that at the end of the day, there’s no choice. There’s no choice but to keep up with the high standards of living under this fast-paced society. I am aware that nothing will ever change if I keep being this way. "Kung hindi ako magbabago, ako ang magiging kawawa sa bandang huli". Acceptance along with a positive change is indeed the most difficult aspect to be learned and applied within the self—unless I would have to stop my studies which is something that I wouldn’t want to do. The nature of nursing also comes with a heavy responsibility because nurses are dealing with lives— a more of a reason for demanding self-change.

I know what should be done, but the process of doing so is never easy.

I may be lost now, but at least I am trying.

Most of us may be lost now, but at least we are trying.

Kudos to this generation that will become products of online and limited face to face classes.

We’re all in this together T^T.

Strong tayo.

- lagicoffee